Happy Hour Tales ...
Jana, the Finance team at jobo had a happy hour here. I always enjoy drunken vibes with my work colleagues. I was acquainted to a combo of Hypnotic-Hennessey; I gotsa sample me some more of that. Given that I just got to jobo and mkubwa bado hajafika (am taking bets on severity of the Hangi …kando), wacha I recount jana’s shenanigans …
“That Truth Come Out When You Drunk”:
What is it about junguz and kissing ass to Africans? Am not talking about the mjolobo angle …
So this chick, after downing kadhaa glasses of red-wine ensconced herself between me and anaa jungu pal who spent 2 years in Meru working with Peace Corps. So me and me mate were raruaing storoz about Nai, helping dude praco his drunken Swa … halafu chick interrupts;
“I’d love to go 2 Africa.” [Wrong Start Bitch, we are talking about Kenya here …]
[Makes it even worse]
“Since I was young, I’ve always wanted to be a primatologist so I could study gorillas and monkeys in Africa …”
[wuuusaaa, wuuuuusaaa …. ]
Surely, is there a better way to ruin a conversation? Yaani chick grabs stereotype hugs it tight na haezi achilia. I was narrating this to a pal and he raised a very interesting point. Granted that she wanted to study monkeys … kwani Africa is the only place with nuguz? There are primatologists who have never left America!! Hmmm …!! Wonder where chick’s dream got derailed!! I mean Finance is a far cry from a monkey ….
“Which Beer”
We had two guys from our Cameroon office that had just arrived in the States for training. Si we pelekad them happy hour, you know, show ‘em how we do.
So what beer do the jamaas want? They are looking at the happy hour beers; Heineken, Amstel Lights, Miller Lite, Corona ….
Then my buddy says “ since you guys are in America, you should drink American Beer” …
I warned them ( like brotha 2 brotha) that they were about to make a colossal mistake …. Lakini hawakunini? Hawakuskia ….
“Bring me a that … miller …”
First sip …
“This is better than all the beers” proclaims Cameroonian 1 ….then we proceed to bambua why Samuel Eto’o wasn’t voted African Player of the year … men and football … pure bliss ….
But I knew dude was kissing ass to his American hosts …ama ilikuwa beginners luck?
Kadhaa beers later , after tongue has been loosened, waitress comes for the next rau of orders … jamaa volunteers:
“Bring me 2 Heinekens!” …. Nicheke ama nisicheke … fcuk it … am rarukaing ….
“The Bill”
A $ 300 or thereabouts tab between 7 people for a Tuesday happy hour is rather innocuous, but can potentially harm one’s wallet if made a habit. But big-ups to the boss. He really demonstrated with words how employee motivation should be done. That means I can afford one more happier hour before the weekend comes … hmmm … where?
Ps: Is it just me or is this week taking like a month to get done?
Labels: alcodemics, midweek ulevi
posted by jm at 10:04 AM
7 Comments:
American beer = Piss.
Lol at the Cameroonian, are there people who brag about their soccer like them?, not they do not have right to.
This is big....
Real big!!
Mimi? Nabba 2?
Hehehehe!! LOLlly WOLlly @ the Cameroonian...ati beginner's luck..heheh!!!
Wusaaaaaaaa=GoooooseFrabbaaaa?
Ama?
Weekendi in coum...
I have been preaching to anyone who can hear, we need to contact someone about these 24 hour days that clearly are taking at least 32 hours.
On the jungu chile kissing ass, there are many of these in the states. Instead of getting irritated about her damn questions the best course of action is to turn around and let her sample your African majic stick.
I second American beer = Piss. But as a true alcoholic i go down a list (amstelizi, heineken, stella, corona…) okay just hand me an mgd and 2 shots of taquilla to mask my shame
Is it safe to assume that for that chick she was trying to impress too hard? you cant blame her twas just a blonde moment plus flashback of when i grow up i want to be....
Lakini there's a way this week feels like two but at least i cam smell friday.
Primatologist indeed kwani she thinks that in Africa monkeys are swinging from every tree. tsk tsk.
Sucking up is always so transparent there is nothing wrong with sampling local flavours but you dont have to suck up like that.
I got the best advice from a friend once about jungus.Dont even bother pointing out their ignorance, just play along and make the tale as ridiculous as it can get.I woulda even thrown in a few tales to spice it up then sit back and watch her make a fool of herself the next time she narrates them to some other crowd.If you're present at the time act like you dont even know what she's talking about :)
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