Open Letter to God...

“God please, please, please help Man United to beat Arsenal …”

But you ignored my prayers yesterday morning. In fact, I think you’ll forgive me for being very disappointed in you. My laundry list of complaints:

1. I started praying at about 9 AM EST. That was a whole 2 hours before kick-off. Surely that was ample time for my prayers to traverse the ethers and reach you in time.
2. Did you realize I made my way to the bar – despite nursing a monstrous hangover – as a demonstration of my faith in the result? I could have watched the game from home, but wanted to celebrate with my fellow United supporters, and rejoice in the anguish of Ass.ernal fans. Instead you gave me hope for 80 minutes, and then allow Ass.ernal to score 2 late goals like that. Why did you instruct that “Faith without action is dead” if you don’t reward action?
3. Were you punishing me for over-indulgence in certain contaminated beverages the previous two nights? I am pretty sure the Ass.ernal fans were not sleeping at home on Saturday night waiting for the game on Sunday. Granted, my cocktails might have been more poisonous but still, I am pretty sure I composed a coherent prayer on Sunday morning for the game …
4. As if my anguish was not enough, you had to wait until I walked out of the pub after the game to make the snow start falling. Do you realize how much this compounded my journey back home?


I realize that I might be overreacting in this instance; after all, we are still six points ahead. May be you are really a MAN U. fan and want to give those guys a lil’ hope… you know, give them a “so close, yet so far” moment. If this be your plan, way to go …


I am willing to make peace with you on condition that our current 6-point lead shall not be dented any further. If I discover, in the course of this season that you are an Arsenal fan, I swear to you that that’s it between you and me.


But you are neutral in sports, right? You don’t support any team do you? You enjoy the games without a vested interest, right? What if Jesus or one of the arch-angels secretly supports a team and wants to influence the result? I think you should look into that because yesterday’s result smacks of divine interference. That needs to stop, seriously.

Please, please God, don be mad @ me. I am just being sincere.


Ps: If that Colts win over the Patriots was your doing, I am willing to forget what happened earlier on with Man United…just as long it doesn’t become a pattern. Deal?

Cheers,

Your servant jm.