Of KBW sexcapades ...
I enjoy trying to visualize how KBW bloggers look (only chicks), their ages, and what type of personality they may have based on their writing. I have a feeling it doesn’t work. But my generosity knows no limits. I think my brain maps a direct proportionality between blog content and “potential aesthetic appeal”. In short, I am trying to say that I am yet to visualize a KBW mama who is not sawa … but do I say???
It gets even more interesting. You see, my mind likes making mini-movies. When I visualize a sawa chick, I want it to end there. But my brain does not let me. Like wahenga walivyonena: “Kichwa hakina pazia” (?)
At this juncture, I am mightily embarrassed, yet obliged to announce that I have “gotten laid” by a LOT of mamas on KBW. I did a Dinka on all of them, and I even remember trimming coz a few of them would not reciprocate my Dinka sans a trim …
But that’s neither here nor there. I really wanted to tell you guys how one of these episodes almost got me beheaded on Friday evening…
You see, I did not sleep a wink on Thursday night. It’s not because am a minute man. Nay, on this material night, my brain was inexplicably polygamous. I hamad from nani’s blog to nani’s. … and I swear every single one of them patiad me, and I gleefully pokead …
The problem is: I had to go to work on Friday morning. And so it was that I spent the whole day at work dividing my shamba amongst all the “sons” that I had sired the night before …
The afore-mentioned task was so arduous I could not last my 8-hr shift. At exactly 3pm, I said sayonara to my boss and hit the road. I had to get home soonest possible and get my dose of sleep. Little did I know …
I was jolted from my reverie by a pissed young black lady on the bus, approximately 25 minutes later. Hell hath no fury like a miro woman aggrieved ...
Unfortunately, I’d blacked out and placed my arm around her. Gladly, my profound apology sufficed to assuage her fears. I was not making a pass at her and was glad I did not get a tongue rollicking ...
I blame the KBW mamas. It was all a dream.
posted by jm at 2:45 PM
43 Comments:
Very funny!! Its interesting how much dreams reveal about your real thoughts though!! LOL
lol....extreemly funny
Hey cheeky one ...aaammm no word for you!
You'r hilarious!
LMAO
That is all
@ Kirima: indeed they do ...
@Kenyaonly: najaribu tu ...
@farmgal: thx. born 2 make u happy :)
@Movie buff: u need 2 hire securicor to guard your dreams, am homing in on ur area code ....
alalala,what to say!?ama kbw chics should give you a written apology for placing you in such a predicament!vivid imagination i tell you!vivid!
Dude, hebu pass the blunt! Good post, had me rolling on the floor!
Ati you went Dinka on all of 'em??!! Aii.. Thank God it was a dream...
Ati dividing shambaz?? LOL
:.Just Sue.:
@ Mama Shady: i expect u'll be fao? :)
@Aegeus: pokea blunt ndugu, kwanza niko na ingine ya maana sana ...
@ Sue: kwanza wewe .... nitaachia hapo :)
Sasa Mwangi you're giving other people ideas, while clearly we're oceans apart..
ati ill be fao....bwehehe!i chekad!ebu endelea with youre dreams..the undinkanised ones!
Heee Mwagi, ur losing it haki.Hawa wahenga ni wa wapi walisema hivyo? Ama wahenga wa Dinka? Lol - shamba uligawa yote?
Kirima umenena.Dreams reveal real thoughts. Tread carefully.
now if you want a picha of most mama's...i'm sellin the copy paste version at a reasonable fee...which will be shared with the consent of the mama...so start the bidding
LOL! Very funny u deserve get a golden award for this!!! Ati going dinka on em'! RONFL
Aii u r nuts!!
An explorer indeed!!
This is interestin, kip feedin us on ur dreams!!
Thank goodness you trimmed thy hairyness!! Your dreams are real funny.
Funny and you made me sin in more ways than one...I imagined, and I called the good name several times in vain. The wahengas had you in mind when they nenaad ha.
Goood Laaaawd, you need help!!
lol that ka mama in the bus, si she was shoked..u sure you weren't dreaming out aloud in words and in actions too??lol
@ Sue: am taking swimming lessons ...
@ Mama Shady: lol, wacha niote
@Bomseh: we r all born mad, juss that some of us remain so ...
@Spidey/tato: can i pay in-kind, that is, a Dinka equivalent?
@ Klara: thx. i'll jaribu my best
@ Chatterly: since u insisted ...
@ Komi: "made [you] sin in more ways than one..."
Yes, am well aware ... lol
@ Betty: She was bewildered but maybe not thaat shocked ... I must be the cuddly gently type ...
ati you want to pay spidey in a dinka equivalent ha (I'm still sinning). What/how would that be?
@ Komi: haiya iya ; a lurid imagination you have ... y do u want 2 wake my ancestors ?
:)
spidey ana-get consent ya mama, halafu mii na udinka wangu tunaenda job. but i see u r very cheeky, what u r insinuating here is unfathomable ...
You’re killing us mwangi…ngai fafa, you need help!.
Advise for future: make sure you sit next to a sawa mama in the bus just incase you end up actualizing your kbw sexcapades.
Oooh, now I get it. Ningumakite. I am not cheeky ha-kichwa haina pazia remember? Your ancestors would wish they were born in our times :) I will not say more.
@ 3N: I am more likely to cuff my hands next time. I don't want to be deported with only a change of underwear as my only accumulated investment in this country ... ni kuhiuhite muno nairobi [if u kn. what means] ...
@ Komi: Am glad we are "together"
:)
lool..mad peeps up in here.
Komi na wewe hata kama kichwa haina pazia..you have come too much!
-P-
lol!! great post! i can imagine you "sleeping" as your hand finds itself on fine women sitting next to you on the bus...hihi
@ betty: Thx. 4 stoppin' by.
@ Kipepeo: thx :) am thinkin' i'll be sittin' next to old wazees ... that way there'll BE NO CHANCE of a repeat episode !!
ROFLMBAO...hmmmmmm should we indulge your dream...creat mental pictures...NOT, you are clearly doing well on your own...you've made my day man!!!!
How in heaven's name did I miss this post? Hilarious! Mwas, si I told you those blunts for Milo are the ish?! Now look what dreams you're having here. Mpaka you're contemplating performing a Dinka on Spidey? Araa? But if I were you, I'd start with Chatterly. Umeona io avatar? LOL!
@ Quint: feelanga free, nakungojea ndotoni zangu kwa hamu na mang'atu ....
@ Archer: Thx. 4 ruining my conniving attempts @ extricating myself from that one ... good thing your insinuation is null and void, on grounds of "anatomical technicalities" ...
You'll be eaten by sharks on your way here.. So get another means.
:.Just Sue.:
so who's picha do u want? hata ya komi niko naye, firmgal(ha ha ha)zote are on my lap..sorry laptop
i guess mwangi is a tellytubby called dinka wanka or dinky winky. i kill me.
p.s i once used to blog with my full name for my spidey blog...big mistake...u shud contemplate changint it esp if the blog orgies get on full force
Spidey: You are amazingly resourceful ... how firm is this gal? :)
Where have I been since you unleashed this confession?!
This post got me smiling=) Thanks for the compliment "I am yet to visualize a KBW mama who is not sawa." It's true that flattery will get you everywhere esp. when combined with wicked humor. Ati you wekad your arm around a chic on the bus! Hope you caught up on your sleep.
@ gal next door glad u liked it and thx. 4 stoppin' by ...
aiya ya yai! spidey wewe!
uuuuuiii yaani I've just seen those comments and I want to strungle someone...I knw where you work kijana!
wat's 'patiad' and 'pokead'? if i may ask, that is.
patia = give
pokea = receive
:)
Eh, ok, like Archer, I must have not received the memo. Looks like there was a party up in here! I am wekaing you on my aggregator right now!
As for that dream, I thought it was macho not having pazia? N'ways, you have most certainly partaken of the best Milo had to offer bluntwise!
@ farmgal: take it easy on Nick :)
@ egm: Better late than never. Yea, I made up that methali to suit my devious needs :)
Hilarious!!!
Whoever spidey has on his lap isn't me. Ma. Are you still dreaming?
I MISSED THIS HOW!!
U r hilarious man!! Finally ulitoa manyoya..hehee. clean n hmmm....
@ princess: i try ...
@ Komi: ati ama naota? hmmm ... guess??
@ unyc: i guess ulikuwa umelost sana from blogosphere - no updates in like a month !! welcome back??
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