My Village Sevens ...
Being a bonafide village boy, I cannot forget memories and lessons inculcated in dear gishagi. Following is a bonus "7" from that most wonderful life, which I yearn and long for ...
- I once wore a gumboot with a rat in it – yea I am a village boy, deal with that …
- I can make chapattis – round ones for that matter – the softness, however, is subject to probability ...
- I cannot type on a keyboard without looking at the letters …
- I can milk the hell out of a cow … two nyondoz @ a time …
- I have done “hill skating” in the village – dissect a Jik Container, sit on it at the top of the hill and submit to the will of gravity ...
- I am an exception to the law of flotation, Archimedes’s Principles, and any such related fluid laws – in other words – I CANNOT SWIM ...
- My mother has spanked me more times than I can count. Most memorable: Once in class, in front of my classmates for playing soccer in class, for fighting with my SMALL brother over bread, just because she could – so it seemed!! Despite that, I love her more than anything in this world or the next …
posted by jm at 10:23 AM
35 Comments:
Fao!!!
U were a very naught boy....a rat kwa gumboots!! i almost screamt....i fear rats!
Whats ur most embarrasing moment?
Which 2 nyondoz are you talking about? Seems to be in reference to No.1 in your previous 7 list LOL
You walked right into that one by telling us of your nyondo fetish... And as you can see with Milo's comment hapo juu, it looks like we've found the thing to identify you with! Hehe, some things are best left unsaid, au siyo?
Touch typing I had to learn speedy. My next challenge is typing a document I am reading without looking at the screen for feedback.
@ unyc: hmmm ... in high school, form 2:
i'd "hooked" what i thought was a gem of a girl from limuru gals (they all looked fyne to me) ... so we are vibing ... and then a prefect[useless cop] from our school stops where am @, rubs on my tumbo and says:
"tuck your tummy when you are talking to a lady"
I wished for the ground to swallow me then ... i still remember the guy btw... hehe ... how times have changed, i hope the guy has a sagging beer belly :)
@ milo: heeya, i have 2 choose my words carefully around you from now!!
@ egm: huyo kijana ... i can type fast lakini have 2 always look, rather annoying ... feel like am 2 old 2 change my wicked ways now ...
Seriously?
SERIOUSLY?
LMAO
U kill me... constantly!
Ati kuna bonus 7’s, i dare unyc to do a bonus one
1. i hope you didn’t smash the panya
3. village boy here too, I can even milk a goat – i guess the skill set required is similar
7. Fighting with bro, sound very familiar…ours was an event, basically everyday after school especially when were in std 1-3. no wonder we get along so well nowadays
Just how did a village boy end up in bush. I wanted to laugh at your experience with the cop and chile from chox but when I empathized I really felt for you.
I can't milk anything I guess I am the opposite a city boy in the village.
The kapanya didnt bite you? Thanks for cracking my ribs.
@ movie buff: i try to please you ... toujours!!
@ 3N: On the mbuzi job, I'll tell you I can do a better job on it with a knife ...
@ Kirima: please tell me you are one of us?? Huyo karau kubaff ...
@ Nakeel: welcome 2 my world!! I fired an RGR ... "Rapid Gumboot Removal" b4 the panya could as much as open its mouth ...
Not quite one of you but I started of in the neighbourhood as one of the small brothers in MGPS just up the road. I actually ended up wearing yellow and terrorizing you with Pineapples if you can decipher.
Kirima: Would you guess? I am also a MGPS product!! Decided there was no use moving from the area ... lol... still working on the pineapple thingy: egm, archer, milo, saidieni!!
I always chek my shoes before vaaing them, once i squeeshed a slug in there, a fat slimy one!
wacheni mafumbo..MGPS ni what?,lol lemmie guess Moi Guys Primary School ??ama ni Musa Gitau Primo??eeh?? mmmh just bulling.
RGR lool am loving these abbreviations.I'll STAN pia mimi.(Start Talking Abbrev.Now) tihihi
A bonus 7! Heheh. Dude you have had a life - found a rat in your gumboots, jameni. Reminds me of finding a rat in a tea kettle in school - trauma.
Nyondoz? Jameni Mwangi. And re that sad story, are you revealing your girth size?
Very very funny.
@ betty: yuks ... rather the rat ...
@ ichiena: uuuwi ... i'd never drink "brew" (tea) again ... and thx 4 the sympathy ... about the girth ... maybe i am, may be am not ... you never know with me :)
@ ory: thx 4 stopping by ...
LOL! This bonus thing rocks!!
Would Like to sample da round chapos..:=)
And u can Milk?? LOL! My Mum would recommend u 4 ahuzzy..LOL
That Panya story Wacha tu! Am still in stitches!!
Ichiena's comment reminds me of this incident where ug was being prepared for supper at school. Bila knowing, a rat angukad inside the huge sufuria. So the unga is being korogwad and the rat is getting cooked in the process. Let's just say the table that got that particular part of the ug had a very interesting experience! This happened before my time though! A legend that lived on to be retold over and over.
you know!youre very funny!but again what is MPGS? @egm, salala, thats terrible!oowi!mwangi, youre most embarrasing momnt is being rubed on the tumbo?!...i dont know why but i was chilling for something mroe dramatic given those other details(nos 1-7)
Seriously...ROTFLOL
woi ati now there's bonus sevens...I really need to do my initial ones.
Interesting life Mwangi!
farmgal
@ Klara: ((your mum)) ... hehe i like her already ...
@ egm: r u serious?? Are the "kerosene in brew" storoz true ... to reduce libido??
@ mama shady: thx :) sorry to disappoint you ...
@ prettylyf: okaay, now you have my head spinning ... I'll be scanning Kamau's for "sources of terror" ...and am fikaing there 2day kwanza!! lol...
@ anon: hehe ... u need to get on that!!
LOL Mwas I'll be there shooting pool LOL j/k though...I know you seriously..want a call? I thought we already were friends no? Oh well yes we can...
@Mwangi Paraffin was it. And yup, tis true.
I love this best ha ha. I can also milk but only one nyondo at a time.
Gumboots are the best for getting around a farm or muddy area. I'm impressed that you make chapos, I can't. Can't swim either.
@ egm: hmmm ... explains why some peeps were soo unreactive ...
@ prettylyf: i dare you :)
@ komi: am pleasantly surprised!!
@ gal next door: i learned the hard way i tell you ...
No 5 haki! Memories memories. We used broken plastic karai, no breaks, no nothing. At the EOD, our captula had two gaping holes exposing our small black a$$es!
The whooping afterwards wo lo lo lo
LOL...priceless!
wololo a rat...did you marsh it to nothingness!
@ inexes: hehe ... kumbe hata wewe ni mmoja wetu?
@ Q: ati what? Between me and you ... I FEAR RATS to this day ... mainly coz those little bastards can hide soo well ... i have had some nasty confrontations with them ...
O.K. I've a bad case of selective memory...ten hours later I remember you said you can make chapos...I should be in your town mid-June...whats the possibility of you hooking some up...i'll make the dengus (w/coconut milk)
Q: see, see, now we are talking ... and if those dengus are the real ones ... the ones I have not tasted since Dec 2003, thou shall not escape a big, tight hug :)
hehehehehehehe.....
How naughty.. Yikes! Rat!!! Those and cockroaches are what I fear most in this world..
Hill skating.. hehehe I too can' swim.. so that makes 2 of us..
What is that probability.. If I dared make chapos, all of you would be toothless.. Ziutokea ngumu aki..
You can make round chapos?? Nice!! Was the rat dead or alive??
princess: thx ... round kabsaa ...bila konaz ... it was alive ... exploring a dead end i reckon ...!!
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