Lost in Translation - 2
Finally … getting into the reading …
P: Katika kitabu cha Warumi ...
T: In the book of (pause) … In the bible (muffled laughter ensues …)
P: (showing remarkable patience and understanding) In the book of Romans …
T: In the book of Romans (repeats exactly what Pastor said, nobody knows why …) ..
P: Theinie wa ibuku ria Aroma, murango wa ikumi na imwe na kamuhari ka mirongo itatu na ithatu …
T: In the book of Romans … (another pause) … part...eeh …
P: Chapter 11 verse 33
T: Chapter 11 verse 33 (haiya … niaremirwo ni thabari!!)
P: (finally running out of patience … calling out another pastor to help out, surely two pastors cannot go wrong …)
Pastor Njuguna, wee niwui Gikuyu?
T: (presiding over his own firing …) Pastor Njuguna, do you happen to know Kikuyu?
(The said pastor Njuguna rises and starts walking towards the pulpit …)
P: (Delivering the coup de grace on translator 1) Uka uteithie muru wa ithe witu hanini haha …
T: (You won’t believe this …) Come and help our brother (as in himself) a ritlle bit …
(Suppressed laughter, but some cannot hold it, Mwangi included) … Hence forthwith, pastor Njuguna will be Translator 2, or T2.
His first agenda was to read out the said Warumi 11:33 – 36:
T2: (Reading, confidently …):
33Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and[a] knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! 34"Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?"[b] 35"Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?"[c] 36For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.
P: Andu a thi nimeciragia nioge muno munooooo … (demonstrating the contrary, proving vs 33-34, I suppose)
T2: Human beings think they are fery clever …
P: Nginya mahotete guthodeka nyamu itagwo “shandow” …
T2: (Clearly perplexed …): To the point they have been able to make …errr … that vessel he just mentioned ….
Congregation lol vibaiyaaaa … Mwangi lia machozi ni kicheko …
P: Mathodeke “shandow” irahota guthie nginya kwa mweri!!
T2: (An aha! Moment … on mention of the moon): Humans have managed to make a shuttle that can ferry them upto the moon …
P: No andu ti ogi uguo meciragia …
T2: But humans are not as clever as they would like to think …
P: Tondu korwo ni ogi uguo ri …
T2: If they were that clever …
P: Nimwonire riria “shandow” yahiaga, ikigoa kuma matuini?
T2: Did you see the shuttle burning, as it fell from the sky?
P: Korwo andu niogi munoooo ri, ka matagithondeka “shandow” ingi, iri na ihenya gukira iyo …
T2: If humans are so clever, why can’t they make another shuttle, faster than that one …
P: Nigetha “shandow” yahura thimu yuge ni irahia ri, matume “shandow” iria ina ihenya, yambate ikinyire iyo, ina miberethi ya mae, imihorie itige kuhia !!
T2: So that if the burning shuttle makes a call, to say it is burning, they can send the faster shuttle, complete with sprinklers to go and extinguish the fire …
True of God ... (Quintessence '07)
Mayangai … [several members of the congregation stream out quietly, alarmed, perhaps even embarrassed by the turn of events …]
P: Mundu wooothe uciaritwo ni mutumia …
T2: Every person that is born of a woman …(haiya ii, kwani siku hizi birth is being outsourced …)
P: (switching to Kingoso for emphasis …) Get me well into that point …
T2: (trying his best, vividly bamboozled …): Pris understand my point very well …
P: No muhaka amenye indo ciothe ciumaga kuri Ngai; chuma ciothe, mabati, indo ciothe, ciumaga kuri teriini wa Ngai …
T2: Every person born of a woman must understand that all things come from God; all metals, (ignores iron sheets) , come from the soil, which belongs to God almighty
P: (Demonstrating the potential of the wrath of God) Na kwahota kugia na ruhuho rututhirire
T2: (doing his best) And there might be a wind and then …err … we won’t even undastad.
MORAL OF SERMON AS UNDERSTOOD BY JM:
All wisdom, all things; material or otherwise belong to and come from God. We should not be obsessed with the search for wealth while on earth …
***Hmmm .... (Or was it)***
20 Comments:
Ha! sembe na dust! zote.
Hilarious..Pastor Njuguna got kicked out and Pastor two is translating his own appointment?lool madness.
That service must've been something else..aki i imagine if i was in that service, the way i like chekaing..woi..i'd have been kicked out pia mimi..me and my tears woulda followed Pasta Njuguna.
"shandow"..that's to rememba!
LOL u are a hilarious as hell. I have not read or been to a kikuyu sermon for the longest time .. Mwathani hau ni wa thekia muno :-)
sembe na dust....i bet betty u dont take that, do u?..hot on the heels, i am...hahhaha..lol th@ sermon ws great na nidahutio haria hari ho..wooiii..these translators r really dandy n funne..i once attended on sermon n the jamaa ws translating from swa tu kiuk
n it went like
P: ni hari na mwaki munene
T: parikuwa na mwaki munene..
.haha
First time in your blog.
Hilarious...reminds me of the "market" crusades in my shags...guys in the office think I am crazy laughing at my computer screen
been certified crazy as i seem to be dying of laughter for no apparent reason...very nice way to die too hehe ouch my ribs hurt! hehe
@ betty: ati sebe na dust!! hehee, i hope that's not ur staple ...
@ irena: hehee, glad i made you reminisce and smile!!
@ boyflani: lol @ maki munene!!
@ seasons: karibu sana, i hope you come back often ... will focus your pad as well ...
@ gal africana: usivunje mbavu :)
Is this for real ama you've made it up? Absolutely hilarious!!! I also would never have gotten the 'shandow' LOL!
Woi, I pity the breaved. I have always hated the translated sermons but this sounds the killer ha.
@ mwas: real ... hehee with a few tweaks on the order ... but content 100% real
@ komi: it was quite something I tell you!!
Chidwe Shandoo!!
You make me happe happe...
u are having a ball with this young chap!
ROFLMBAO...how did ppl keep straight faces man!
Wearing a straight face when some stuff is going on is an impossibility for me...i am the one who bursts out laughing taking everyone down with him...
Aegeus!
woi that is too funny. I could hardly finish it coz I was laughing so hard.
that was funnee. Reminded me of open air crusades
Haiya!!
I wish i was there!!! Thats all i can say....LoL.
if only i gitced kisapere.. ninge okoka leo
@ Bants: I try ... kidogo tu lakini ...
@ guest b: i am kabsaa ...
@ Q: They did not ...
@ jiwe: is that so?
@ wambui: heheee, i understand
@ gishungwa: the genesis of ur name ... post worthy ... am a novice ...
@ klara: nikiii?
@ unyc: wish u was there 2!!!
@ kip: well if ur aunt had 2 balls she'd be ur uncle dawg ...
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