Ngaiiiiiiiii babaaaaaaa ....

Basic Rule of Thumb ...

1. When a dark shaped object whizzes across the room, at three times ten to the power eight metres per second you know you are fucked …
   
2. When the said object waits until you are just about to sleep, to do the said whizzing, you know you are nocturnally fucked …
   
3. Now, when your roommate beholds the said whizzing, lets out a sharp cry “Ngaiiiiiiiii babaaaaaa …." ad infinitum not only is the fucking nocturnal, but it is likely to be without the lubricant of your choice … excrutiating … tremendous enthalpy of combustion …
   

But I know you muthafuckas are not getting the point:

What I am kindly trying to say is this:

There is a fucking rat in the house.

And I am fucking scared to go home tonight. Not after how fast that little fuck was moving last night. Jeeezus, and Mary and Joseph !! What the fuck am I gonna do?

Kirima [ Insert Appropriate Phobia here]


The worrying thing is that the little-fucka was littlish [read youngish] …

This portends a MAJOR problem:

What if the said little-fucka was SEXILED* ….

As in would not be allowed to watch the big-dick fucka doing his thang to populate the house with similarly fast little fuckas?*

In fact, @ the speed @ which that little-fucka flashed before our mersmerized selves, I would not be surprised if big-dick (noun) caught little-fucka jerking off to his big-dick (adjective) manenos and chased him off !!

If that be the case, if big-dick be in the house doing his thing, now I am eternally fucked …

What’s a fucking rat’s gestation period?

(Ooozing manly machismo ... )

I am a mammal of higher order … I will not allow big-dick to hold me in thrall … ama show him a swinger (mass noun) …

I reckon maybe it’s becoz it’s summer time that little-fucka and his clan found their way to the crib … so before I left house in the morning, I decided to modify the “climate in the house” … wekad maximum cooling ….

In the hope that @ best:

a) The cold will shrivel big-dick and induce temporary erectile dysfunction before I flush the clan out tonight …
b) Lil-fucka’s -mama will catch a “rat-cold” that will result in loss of “heat” delaying/ eliminating/ negating big-dick’s multiplication instincts …


In the absence of success:

I am buying “Mummification for Dummies” on my way home …