Going Downtown: Lessons from the Dinka

Disclaimer: This post contains regional cultural elements that may not be palatable for all. Reading discretion is advised.


I have always wondered whether the National Geographic Television exploits African Tribes in some of their programming. Amongst the tribes who have managed to retain their customs in spite of modern pressures, NGEO really enjoys showing semi-naked women, and for the keen-eyed, it is obvious that not only do they zoom in on these women’s mammalian glands, but they also prolong the frame a few seconds. But the object of this post is not to gripe about NGEO. Not after what I saw yesterday.

When it comes to going downtown, some men have always trodden with trepidation; am talking about involuntary trembling and quivering. Some guys just do not just “dive in” . They evaluate the pros and cons from afar:

Is there a certification from the Food and Drug Administration, declaring “FIT FOR CONSUMPTION”?
How is the vegetation?
Kadhaa push-ups to psyche themselves up …
Etc, etc …

After last night, I discovered that such fears are at best, frivolous. Do you know what the Dinka Men do to stimulate their cows to produce more milk? I swear to one God: THEY GO DOWN ON THEM!!!!!!

I was incredulous at this. I mean, the guy was not licking; he was whole-heartedly consuming the ng'ombe's nini. I closed my eyes, shamed that they dared show such a scene. I opened my eyes 30 seconds later and the dude was still at work. There and then, I found myself wondering:

1. Do these guys ever go down on their mamas?
2. Should any man worth his salt ever, ever, ever have any qualms going downtown on a mama?
3. Will I burn 4 such thoughts?